Don't Feed Asuka!
by Charles Xavier
Summary: (AU) The rascally Rei plays a mean joke on Asuka, informing everybody in Tokyo to deny her food for a whole twenty-four hours! Can Asuka survive, or will she starve to death?


Author's Note: Well, I won't pretend to admit that the concept of this story originated from a certain TV program I watched not too long ago. I won't tell you what it was exactly, because I'll let you people figure that one out yourself…(winks)

Be aware that this fic is based on the alternate universe shown in Episode 26 and in many of the Evangelion simulation games (so don't be surprised with Rei's spunky attitude et all). Enjoy otherwise!

…

**__**

Don't Feed Asuka!

****

By Charles Xavier

…

0:00 am

…

"Yoo-hoo! Asuka-chan!"

Asuka was rudely woken up in the middle of the night when some idiot switched on the lamp in her bedroom. Moaning grumpily, she rose from her bed and saw Rei Ayanami by her side, giving her a friendly wave at her.

"Rei! What the hell are you doing in my bedroom at twelve o'clock at night!" Asuka whined in a pissed off manner, rubbing her painful exhausted eyes. "Go home and go back to bed…UMPH!"

Asuka had a ham and cheese sandwich baguette poked into her face, from a spit that Rei held. Rei shoved the sandwich into her mouth and rubbed it all across her face, boxing it into her nose, ears and eyes with mischief. "Yum, yum, yum! That smells delicious!" Rei taunted. "You like that, don't you? You just can't wait to have some of that sandwich and bite it!"

"Grrr! Cut that out!" Asuka was in no mood to eat and shoved the annoying sandwich away from her face. She picked up her pillow and started beating Rei with it. "BAKA! Get out of my apartment now before I toss you out of my window, you cock su-"

"Hey!" Rei placed a finger onto Asuka's lips. "Watch your language there…I only came tonight to propose a…"

"Propose this!" Asuka offered Rei more beatings on the head with her pillow.

"Stop that!" Rei squealed, protecting herself against Asuka's hot-head temper. "I came to propose a challenge to you: do you think you could survive without eating anything for the next twenty-four hours?"

Asuka suddenly ceased her pillow attacks.

"Eeeeh?" She looked at Rei with a baffled look. "What's gotten into your freaking mind today, Rei? Are you challenging me?"

"You heard me damn straight, friend! I am offering a bet to and see if you're strong enough to spend an entire day without any food!" Rei delivered her a mocking grin and laughed unkindly. "So you up for it?"

Asuka shook her head. "I don't what you're on, Rei, but you better get your ass running now before I flush your fat head down the toilet!"

"Then I'll take that as a yes!" Rei clapped her hands together and laughed again, heading over to the door. "From now until this hour tomorrow you, Asuka Langley Soryu , are strictly forbidden to eat any form of food whatsoever!"

"GET OUT!" Asuka threw her pillow at her. "Why can't you just leave me alone!"

"I just plainly don't like you sometimes, that's all." Rei answered, before departing out to leave her rival/friend in peace.

"Crazy ass jerk." Asuka snorted and switched off her lamp, tucking herself back into bed. "I could take a whole day without food any time…what a stupid challenge."

…

7:00 am

…

"Bleep! Bleep! Bleep!" Went her alarm clock. Asuka tiredly stretched her limbs and reached her arm out for he alarm clock, switching it off.

"Ugh…what a nightmare." She let out a massive yawn and scratched her scruffy hair. Kicking away her blankets and rolling off her bed, she dragged herself to the bathroom to shower and get prepared for another enduring hard day of school.

…

7:17 am

…

After getting dressed, Asuka went to the kitchen to grab herself some breakfast.

"Damn, I'm starving…I wonder what we've got today." Opening up the refrigerator, Asuka jumped back in fright when she heard a burglar alarm triggered inside. "EEEEH?" But what was worse was that the refrigerator was fully empty; not even a single breadcrumb was visible. "That's weird. I don't remember setting that alarm thingy in the fridge…but what happened to all the food!" Asuka closed the fridge and went for the cupboards.

"EEEEEEEEHHHHHHH?" Another surprise struck her when she found all the cupboards empty as well. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!"

"Ohayo Asuka, you're up!" Shinji popped his head into the kitchen to find his hungry friend searching high and low for any signs of food. "Rei turned up here an hour ago to stack away all the food we had. She said you took her bet on claiming you could take a whole day without eating. So I let her grab everything we had in the kitchen."

"NANIIII?" Asuka's face was beginning to boil red while steam was tooting out from her ears like a kettle. "BAKA!" She hammered Shinji on the head with her knuckles and knocked him out half-unconscious to the floor. "How could you let that creep sneak in here and snatch all our food!"

"Aaaa…" Shinji was too dazed to answer.

Asuka marched angrily out of the kitchen and went to the living room to see if there was any food laying about there. Lifting up cushions, tossing aside pillows, and peeking under the tables, Asuka found nothing that seemed eatable. And it came clear that Rei certainly wasn't joking about last night…

"GRRRRRR! DAMN YOU, REI!"

Asuka clenched her fists and stomped her feet in rage, causing her to accidentally step on the TV remote. The television switched on at once, and it automatically started playing a video…

"Ohayo, Asuka-chan!"

Rei was seen waving with joy on the TV screen. She appeared in her school uniform, but was wearing a goofy chef's hat. Before her sat a wide table topped with various, exquisite, gourmet food, which almost made Asuka drop her jaw and drool with hunger.

"I hope you haven't forgotten that today is 'Don't Feed Asuka!' day! That's right, this is the day that you can't have a bite of anything! Not even a bite of this delicious stuff surrounding me on my table…MMM! This food makes my mouth water and my belly grumble! I think I'm going to nibble on some here right now."

Asuka couldn't take her sight off the food Rei was cruelly feasting in front of her. Roast chickens…tender steaks…chocolate cakes…pan fried livers…sugar iced donuts…sushi rolls…vegetable tempuras…ice cream sundaes…steamed pastas…boiled curries…bubbling soups…it was all so irresistible to ignore.

"MMM-MMMMM! OOOISHIIIIII! This is so good! Can't you just smell that, Asuka-chan? Doesn't it smell so wonderful? All that marinated wine sauce on the meat, those oily crunching vegetables, and that fresh whipped cream on the desserts. Too bad you can't have any of it, because I'll be eating it all! Hee! Hee! Heeeeeeee!"

"You yellow ass wipe!" Asuka yelled at the TV.

"Bon chance, Asuka-chan! Don't let the starvation rattle your brain…oh, and one more thing. I asked Shinji to carefully monitor you this whole day to ensure that you don't be a cheeky monkey and try to steal any food."

A recovered Shinji came into the living room to find Asuka watching Rei's tape.

"See you in school!"

Asuka picked up the remote and crushed it the palm of her hand.

"Sorry, Asuka. I have to do what she says and watch over you." Shinji said, switching off the TV by the set. "She threatened to beat me to a pulp with her baseball bat if I didn't follow you around."

"Baka, Shinji." Asuka punched him on the arm. "You always have to be the goodie little two shoes when it comes to Rei!"

"Settle down." Shinji replied, walking over to the Bose stereo sitting on top of the TV. "Why don't we just listen to some music on the radio to calm your nerves, before we head off to school?"

Shinji turned on the stereo and tuned in to a random radio channel…

"Good morning, people of Tokyo! This is Rei Ayanami speaking on behalf of all the radio channels to let each and every one of you know that if ever today you encounter a junior high school student, aged fourteen with red hair and blue eyes, do not…I repeat, do NOT offer her any food under any circumstances. She is madly dangerous and may attack you with aggression and force, but no matter how much she may cry and beg to you, do NOT feed Asuka Langley Soryu at all costs…! DON'T FEED ASUKA!"

…

7:34 am

…

"EEEEEEH!"

Asuka couldn't believe what her eyes were telling her. From the very minute she stepped outside, she had already spotted over twenty cars, bicycles, trucks, motorbikes and other vehicles tagged with signs simply spelling out: 'Don't Feed Asuka!'. Looked like Rei had been working hard getting the word across Tokyo, and it was spreading fast.

"Wow, I never expected Rei to go this far. I guess she really meant it." Shinji was surprised too to see how eager everyone was in joining this silly game. "How sure were you when you decided to sacrifice food for today?"

"Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!" Asuka shouted, running ahead with her hands to her ears. "This can't be happening to me!"

"Hey, wait up!" Shinji followed her in pursuit. "Rei said I couldn't take my eyes off you!"

Running down the streets as fast as she could to her school, Asuka noticed that every store in Tokyo had a photograph of herself pinned on the wall, saying: 'Don't Feed Asuka!'.

"IIIIIEEEE!" What a hellhole this was for her. But that wasn't even halfway, because Asuka saw people on the streets laughing up at a billboard. "EEEEEH?"

Raising her eyes up, it was of no surprise to what she found. And indeed, there on the billboard was Asuka's face along with those three simple words: 'Don't Feed Asuka!'.

"That's right, people! This is officially 'Don't Feed Asuka!' day!" Asuka looked up to the sky and found Rei Ayanami, swinging out of a buzzing helicopter and shouting with her megaphone: "Remember, if you see Asuka any time today, do not give her food or else she'll explode!"

"GRRRR! YOU LIAR!" Asuka fiercely leaped up and down, trying to reach Rei with her fingernails like a wild Siberian tiger. "GET DOWN HERE FROM THAT DAMN CHOPPER SO I CAN GIVE YOU SUCH A PINCH!"

Rei heard somebody screaming at a high voice below. Bobbing her head down, she saw Asuka roaring at her while Shinji was just catching up. "Oh hi, Shinji-kun!" Rei waved at him. "Good to see that you're taking care of Asuka well so far."

"SHUT UP, YOU!" Asuka interrupted her. "When this is all over, I'm going be stabbing you with a letter opener for twenty-four hours! How'd you like that!"

Rei tried to pretend she didn't hear that last line.

"I can see you're very confident in this, Asuka-chan!" Rei complimented her, but with a patronizing voice. "You only have about seventeen and a half hours to go! Keep it up!"

With that said, Rei ordered the helicopter pilot to steer onwards throughout the city. She continuously shouted in her megaphone: "DON'T FEED ASUKA!…DON'T FEED ASUKA!…DON'T FEED ASUKA!"

"HEEEEY! GET BACK HERE!" Asuka chased the helicopter, running like a carnivorous cheetah. Shinji was almost out of breath but had to keep up the pace of his angry school mate.

"Asuka, slow down! I think I sprained my ankle!"

…

8:01 am

…

"Ohayo, mina-san!"

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Sensei!"

Misato Katsuragi greeted her students and sat down on her desk.

"Well, I hope everyone had a wonderful breakfast on this lovely summer morning! Remember, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and it's what gets you students on the go when it comes to studying at school!"

"HAI!"

"Asuka…Asuka? Are you feeling all right back there?" Misato noticed Asuka sternly sitting at her desk, mumbling gibberish to herself and stabbing a sharpened pencil down on her notebook. "Asuka…? Is there something the matter?"

"Rei, that bum…I'm going get her and makafrasharashrah…"

"Gambatte, Asuka-chan!" Hikari was sitting next to her, giving her a peace sign. "You can make it without eating, we're all counting on you!"

"Gambatte my ass, rishsharasiroosh..."

Asuka glanced over at the innocent Rei sitting by the open window, twitching an eye at her with disgust.

…

1:07 pm

…

"NANIIIIII!" Asuka exclaimed in the classroom. "What do you mean you can't serve me lunch! Everyone else is getting theirs!"

"Gomen, Asuka-chan." Mana Kirishima apologized, after having told Asuka that she wasn't allowed any of the school's lunch during the break. "They're orders from Rei."

"She even spoke to the Principal and he's strictly told the school not to feed you for the whole day." Mayumi Yamagishi said, assisting Mana in serving the other students lunch. "Hard luck, Asuka. Things will be okay again tomorrow."

"TOMORROW!" Asuka snapped at them, grabbing Mayumi by the shirt and shaking her senselessly. "What IF there's no tomorrow!"

Just as she was starting to go insane, she heard Rei's voice outside the window shouting:

"Come and get them while they're fresh!"

Rushing to the window and unveiling the curtains. She saw Rei in the playground area selling hundreds of t-shirts with her face on them, and quite predictably, the words 'Don't Feed Asuka!' written in giant bold letters. Students and teachers were lining up to buy the attractive merchandise.

"Just in, 'Don't Feed Asuka!' t-shirts right here! Step right up and buy yours today only for 100 yen…now don't push and shove, there's plenty enough for everybody!"

Toji Suzuhara and Kensuke Aida were seen happily helping Rei sell the t-shirts out to the crowd.

"I guess this isn't your day, Asuka. Heh, heh, heh…" Shinji came over, scratching his head and giving the huffy and crossed Asuka an uneasy smile.

"BAKA!" Asuka hammered him on his head again and knocked him out.

…

2:12 pm

…

"What on Earth is that noise?"

Misato paused during her lesson when she heard the sound of a plane flying outside the school. Walking over to the window to look outside, she found Kaji Ryoji flying a jet fighter. Saluting at Misato, he circled round the school several times and ascended to greater heights to form cloud letters.

"Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho." Misato covered her mouth as she let out a light laugh. "Asuka, I think you should come over and see this."

Asuka went to the window and looked up to where Misato was pointing to…and what she saw made Asuka shriek at the top her voice: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

There in the oceanic sky in fat humongous letters were the words that Asuka had regretted most: 'Don't Feed Asuka!'.

Rei giggled with shear delight when she saw to the written clouds with the students.

…

3:08 pm

…

Unbeknownst to Asuka, multiple aircrafts were swarming Tokyo, waving signs attached their tails saying 'Don't Feed Asuka!'.

…

5:07 pm

…

Despite its pointlessness, Asuka had rushed to the nearest McDonald's restaurant after school had ended. Shinji of course followed her all the way…and to no avail when they had arrived, Asuka's orders were declined by the employees.

"Sorry, Miss Soryu. We're not allowed to serve you food today."

"You listen to me, busters!" Asuka yelled at Maya Ibuki, Makoto Hyuga and Shigeru Aoba at the counter, causing everyone in McDonald's to fall silent beneath her booming voice. "You give me food now before I REALLY get ticked off with you guys! I swear that I'll dunk each of your heads in frying oil if you don't give me my Happy Meal this instant!"

"What's all this commotion about?" The McDonald's manager Ritsuko Akagi came into the scene to investigate the problem. "Oh hello, Asuka…sorry, but rules are rules."

Asuka brought no attention to the wall behind her where a clear 'Don't Feed Asuka!' flyer was posted with her photo on it. It didn't take her long to discover its presence when she turned round, though. At the same time Rei was there to see the comical situation unfold. She skipped towards Asuka with glee.

"Konnichi wa, Asuka-chan! I hope all is well with you." She said, sipping her strawberry shake loudly. "Can you imagine? Every single restaurant in Tokyo knows that you're not supposed to eat today…for all of today, everyone else can eat, except you! And don't you forget that!" She winked at her.

"I bet you're really enjoying this, Rei." Asuka replied scornfully, gritting her teeth together. "Well, this won't last forever, because I'm going to freaking nail your brain to the wall after today…"

"Um, don't mind her. Heh, heh…" Shinji sweat dropped and Asuka turned back at him with a life-threatening stare. "Can I have my vanilla shake now please?"

…

5:43 pm

…

"DAMEEEEEE!"

"Let go of it!"

"IIIIEEEE!"

"This is so embarrassing!"

"NOOO!"

"Asuka, get your hands off the vending machine now!

Asuka was clutching her arms dearly round a vending machine like it was her last life resource. Shinji was pulling her away from the machine by her legs, but Asuka was more than stubborn to release her grip. All the people in the streets were laughing at the hilarious duo, among them was Kaoru Nagisa.

"Hey, Shinji." Kaoru approached with a hidden smile on his face, watching them struggle with each other clumsily. "Isn't Asuka allowed to drink anything?"

"She's only allowed to drink cold and hot water!" Shinji shouted, right before Asuka kicked him in the face with her shoe. "Asuka, stop kicking me! I already told you can't have any ice coffee!"

"NOOOOOOO, WATER SUCKS! I NEED ICE COFFEE! I CAN'T LIVE A DAY WITHOUT DRINKING IT!" Asuka cried in despair. "And besides, it'll keep me awake…OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

…

7:29 pm

…

Shinji had continued his guard on Asuka, preventing her from leaving the apartment for the last remaining hours…

"Dominoes Pizza delivery! What can I get for you?"

"Hi, I'd like to order a family size mushroom pizza pronto!" Asuka murmured on her cell phone, hiding in her dark closet and being careful not to reveal to Shinji her whereabouts. "I'd like extra cheese, anchovies and lots of olives to go with that too!"

"Very well, miss. That's a family size mushroom pizza, with extra cheese, anchovies and lots of olives…would you please give me your home address?"

"Yes, I'm in Tokyo at…"

"Tokyo?"

"YES, GODDAMNIT! TOKYO!" Asuka raised her voice on the phone, losing her patience by the minutes passing. "Tokyo at…"

"Miss, please do not yell across the phone." The pizza girl politely replied. "May I please advise that you take your order from your NEAREST Dominoes Pizza store?"

"Chotto matte!" Asuka wasn't unwilling to take 'no' for an answer. "You don't understand! This whole city has got me under their control!"

Suddenly, the closet slid open and Shinji caught her red-handed, standing there with a spark of shock on his face.

"ASUKA!" He pointed out and quickly swiped the cell phone away from Asuka's hand. "Rei said absolutely NO food deliveries for you!"

"GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK!" Asuka squealed, running out of the closet and chasing Shinji into the living room. "I was just starting to taste all that pizza goodness, you fruitcake!"

"Hokkaido!" Shinji looked at Asuka's phone screen, holding back his giggles surfacing when he read the location details. "You tried calling a Dominoes Pizza store from Hokkaido!"

"BAAAAAAKAAAAA!"

…

9:52 pm

…

Shinji realized that Asuka was seriously loosing it now. For last the half hour, she was tasting one of her school shoes, biting her teeth into the strap and licking her saliva soaked tongue on the silvery buckle. Her eyes were forming endless spirals which told Shinji that she was hallucinating…painfully.

It was scary for Shinji, and he couldn't estimate how much longer he could bear this.

"Oishii, ne?" Asuka inhaled the scent of her shoe and licked the sole inside, receiving all the scents within which stimulated her, pleased her and sent tingles down her spine. "So delicious! I can't wait to chew on this!"

Now it was getting too eerie for Shinji to stomach; Asuka was munching down on her own shoe like a club sandwich, and seemed like she was enjoying it greatly. Shinji marched over and grabbed her shop, pulled it away from her mouth. "GRRRRR!" But like a mad dog, Asuka wouldn't let her teeth detach from the shoe. She pulled back hard against Shinji and began a tug-of-war fight with him.

"THAT'S ENOUGH, ASUKA! LET GO!"

Shinji won the contest as Asuka let go, making him fall backwards onto his bottom. But that only made Asuka's temper rise up volcanically. And soon her mind transformed into something far below human…and more of an animal.

"GRRRRRRRR!"

White foam emerged from all over Asuka's mouth, as she growled monstrously at Shinji. She started crawling up to him like a savage blood-hungry beast from the Netherworld. Watching her scowl at him repulsively, Shinji froze before Asuka like an ice cube. He found it most unwise if he was to make any sudden gestures.

"Um…nice Asuka…calm down now." Shinji stuttered with his body shaken.

"RUUUFFF!"

Asuka grabbed one of Shinji's legs and started biting it with hideous ferocity.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!" Shinji jumped to his feet at once and went hopping round the living room in agonizing pain from his friend's strong bite. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Shinji shook the beastly Asuka vigorously off his leg.

"RAFF! RAFF! RAFF!"

Asuka barked at him with despise like the Cerberus, and Shinji wasn't brave enough to take this horror anymore. He turned his back and fled the room in fright sweating like a cowardly chicken. Asuka chased him on her fours towards his bedroom, where Shinji frantically slammed the door shut onto her face and locked it firmly.

…

11:45 pm

…

"Grrrr…RAFF! RAFF, RAFF, RAFF, RAFF, RAFF!"

Asuka was still ramming on Shinji's door, and still full of energy to tear him pieces to pieces if he was to step out of his room. Shinji was getting overwhelmed, and this joke was going way too far. Luckily with his cell phone inside his pocket, he decided to dial Rei's number and update her about Asuka's uncontrollable behavior.

The phone went ringing.

"Hai?"

"REI!" Shinji cried in panic. "Asuka's trying to eat me…! She's gone bananas…she's gone berserk…she's gone cannibalistic on me! You got to save me now before I end up as a dead carcass!"

"No worries, Shinji-kun!" Rei said in a cheerful mood despite of Shinji's desperate state. "Her time is almost up! And me and all my friends are just outside your apartment heading for your door! We're about to come in now!"

"WHAT!"

"Ding dong!" Went the doorbell.

At that moment Asuka ceased her rampages and turned her head to the door. Shinji heard the pounding on his door stop, and wasn't afraid to step outside to answer his visitors. Both curious to see who it was, they approached the door with caution. Shinji turned the knob and almost got his face smacked by the door when…

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

…a rowdy stampede of Rei and her friends crashed in and paraded into the apartment. Asuka and Shinji stepped aside to let the whole gang in. "Hooray! It's almost coming to midnight!" Rei came inside last, hugging Shinji with her thanks…then she went over to the puzzled looking Asuka. "Quick! Wear this, Asuka-chan!" She whipped out a red blindfold and wrapped it round Asuka's head. "We've got a surprise waiting for you!"

"Rei, what's going on here?" Shinji asked.

"Asuka's time is nearly up! So me and my friends have come to reward her with the feeding of her life! We've got ice cream, steaks, chicken, burgers, fries, shakes, cakes, sodas, chocolates, vegetables, fruits, sushi, noodles, pasta…anything you name, we have it all! And it's all for Asuka herself!"

"EEEEEEH!" Asuka was already drooling from listening to Rei's words. "LET ME HAVE THEM ALL!"

"Not so fast, Asuka-chan!" Rei said, tightening her blindfold. "You'll have to wait a few more minutes, since we have to set everything up on the table before you can knock yourself out completely!"

"EEEEH! I CAN'T WAIT ANOTHER MINUTE!"

…

11:59 pm

…

Asuka, still wearing her blindfold, sat impatiently in her chair at the dining table, unaware of the gargantuan assortments of food stacked and waiting to be consumed. Only a few seconds remained, and everyone preparing for the ultimate countdown…

"Ten…nine…eight…seven…six…five…four…three…two…one…HOORAAAAAAAY!"

Crackers were set off as everybody cheered and applauded Asuka. Rei kindly untied Asuka's blindfold, and Asuka was finally able to feast her eyes upon the most incredible sight of her life…

"Tell me this isn't your sick joke, Rei." Asuka murmured to her.

"LET THE FEEDING BEGIN, EVERYBODY!"

With that said, all of Rei's friends picked up plates and started feeding Asuka one by one.

"GIVE IT ALL TO ME!" Asuka screamed at them forcefully , and everybody was gladly ready to stuff her face until she'd throw up. "More…more…! MOOOOOOORE! MWA! HA! HA! HA! HAAAAAAAA!" Asuka kept on asking for more food, taking no care of how large her stomach was growing. "GIVE ME MORE! MORE, MORE, AND MORE!"

Rei and Shinji laughed together, watching Asuka eat like an unmannered pig.

"Boy, she's really enjoying her food, Rei."

"I say mission accomplished…! Looks like she truly made it without eating for a full twenty-four hours!" Rei nudged Shinji for fun and winked. "She's one heck of a girl, I say!"

…

…The Next Day…

…

11:00 am

…

Down by an outdoor swimming pool, Asuka was relaxing under the sun on a floater bed in her bathing suit and sun glasses. Sipping her ice coffee on a glass she held, she was relieved to find peace at last alone, undisturbed…or so she thought…

"Ah…" Asuka took a deep sigh and rested her head back on her bed, floating aimlessly around the pool. "…I love Saturday mornings…it's so damn quiet for a change…I think I'm going to go take a nap…"

How untimely for that, for she was too tired to detect Rei Ayanami hidden in the premises.

"Hee, hee, hee!" Crouching beneath the green bushes, Rei giggled as she crept out from her hiding place and rolled out a giant barrel full of green paint she had with her. "This one's going to be a killer!"

Tip-toeing and pushing the barrel slowly besides the pool, she popped it open and called out to Asuka: "Hey, Asuka-chan! Look what I've got!"

Asuka lowered her sun glasses and raised a brow at Rei.

"REI!" She shouted in sudden anger when she saw what Rei was blatantly up to. "Can't you leave a girl alone for a change! Just what the hell are you doing now?"

Rei didn't answer because she was busy pouring out the green dense paint from out of the barrel and into the clean swimming pool. With a nasty grin on her face, Asuka knew that Rei cooking another prank with her.

"REEEEEEIIII!"

Rei took out a giant wooden spoon from the bushes and started stirring the paint with the chlorine water, making a an impure mixture. And in a matter of seconds, the pool had turned all disgustingly green.

"REEEEEIII!" Asuka screamed in a high-pitch tone, crying in tears. "Why do you have to torture me like this, goddamn it!"

"Well…" Rei went to explain to her clearly her reasons. "…I've been listening to a lot of people complaining about your soft temper, especially Shinji. And I thought…hey…could YOU survive twenty-four hours without losing your temper and bitching about to anybody? That gave me an idea to sneak over here and paint your pool green to see if you'd get flipped or not!"

"GRRRRRR!" Asuka was already losing her temper with her friend…"I'M NOT GOING TO GO THROUGH ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR LOUSY GAMES! I'M SICK AND THROUGH WITH YOUR CRAP ALREADY! YOU HEAR ME!"

"Uh-oh!" Rei rubbed her chin, shaking her head. "You're bitching already! Looks like I'll have to reset my clock back to twenty-four hours!" Rei slipped out her cell phone and reset the time on it.

"WHAT!"

"You heard me! Every time you bitch, yell, swear or curse at me or anyone else, you'll force me to set your time limit back to twenty-four hours. Twenty-fours in which you'll have to endure unpredictable pranks me that I'll pull on you…whenever and wherever you'd least expect them! And if you want to get through this phase in one piece, you'll have to bear with us all without blowing off your top off!"

"WHY, YOUUUUU!" Shaking her fist, Asuka was so mad now that she fell off her bed and splashed into the green plagued pool. "OH, NUTS! Look what you made me do Rei, you asshole!"

"Whoops!" Rei smiled, placing her hands to her cheeks. "Did I hear Asuka bitch AGAIN! You know what that means: time to reset the clock again!" She reset her clock on her phone.

"NOOO!" Asuka cried, plashing about in the pool. "This is utterly insane! First I nearly starve to death for yesterday, and today you're slapping more bull crap in my face telling that I can't get pissed off at anybody! This is public humiliation, can't you see!"

"I'm setting the clock back to twenty-four hours again!" Rei adjusted her time once again.

"THAT DOES IT!" Asuka climbed out of the pool, covered in green, and scrambled towards Rei, screaming: "YOU GET OVER HERE SO I CAN PULVERIZE YOU, YOU BLUE-BASTARDLY PIMP!"

"Twenty-four hours reset!"

"RWWWOOOOAAAAARRRRR!"

Asuka pursued Rei out of the swimming pool area and into the busy streets of Tokyo. People stopped dead on their tracks when they saw a funny green Martian girl running after Rei across the city bare foot. Vehicles halted and honked wildly as the girls brought their chase across the roads. The city went speechless before them…and everyone was all on the verge of breaking into laughter…

"GET BACK…! GET BACK HERE…! GET BACK HERE, YOU…!"

"You're just making it worse for yourself, Asuka-chan! HEE! HEE! HEEEEE!"

Every time Rei heard Asuka shout, she constantly set her cell phone clock back to twenty-four hours. Heavens knows how long this new challenge was going to take…but there was no doubt that this day was certainly going to be a living hell for Asuka Langley Soryu…and as for Rei Ayanami, it was just the beginning of her fun; but just what sort of pranks would she think of next this time?

Only time could tell.

…

**__**

Fin

…


End file.
